Dangerous Assumptions
“But Jesus said to them, ‘You don’t know what you are asking...”
October 21, 1979
Picture a train puffing its way through the mountainous countryside of the Swiss Alps. Inside one of the train car compartments sit four people who face each other. On one side sit a general and his young corporal attache. They are facing an elderly grandmother and her beautiful 19-year-old granddaughter. When the train goes through a long, dark tunnel, two distinct sounds are heard. First, there is the smack of a kiss and then there is the loud smack of a slap. As the train re-enters the light, each one has their own set of assumptions about what happened. The grandmother thinks: "The very nerve of that smart-aleck corporal kissing my granddaughter.
I'm glad she had the sense to slap him and teach him a lesson." Through the granddaughter's mind flow these thoughts: "That was a nice kiss. I wish my grandmother had not hit that cute young man.” Looking a bit puzzled, the. general mused internally: "I am proud of my corporal for taking the chance to kiss that pretty girl, but I wonder why her grandmother slapped me. Finally, the corporal, all smiles, reflected to himself: "What a stroke of luck, a chance to kiss that girl and to hit my cranky old general rolled into one!"
Human life is pervaded by dangerous assumptions. We assume we know what makes certain people tick only to discover that they aren't quite so easy. We think we know how to figure the angles and come out on top in life, only to discover that someone has changed the questions about the time we think we have the answers. From the days of Jesus' disciples to the here and now, humans have had dangerous assumptions about what it means to be God's person which are just not borne out by Jesus' teachings and our experience.
In the middle chapters of Mark's Gospel, he describes how Jesus' disciples both understood and misunderstood who Jesus was and what God was doing through him. They finally figured out that Jesus was the Messiah, the special one from God who would straighten out the world. But that is about as far as they correctly went. After that, they were off and running with dangerous and erroneous assumptions about how they expected Jesus to get his Messiah act together. The brothers James and John roared up to Jesus one day with a presumptuous and assumptious (if that's a word) request. "Hey, Jesus, when you sit on your royal throne and rule the world, let us be your right hand and left hand men. We'll help you tell people what to do. Jesus, it will be great, T-bone steak every day!" Jesus answered: "You just don’t know what you are asking, you just don't know what you are talking about. You think you know what I mean but you don't." You see, the disciples had a tough time getting through their heads that when Jesus entered Jerusalem the folks were not going to put him up in the presidential suite of the Jerusalem Hilton. Jesus knew that his talk about God loving the street people just as much as the president of the chamber of commerce and that those people had just as much right to the good things of life as anyone else had not won him friends and influence with the religious, business, and government elite of his society. The key to the city did not await Jesus; the cross did.
In our remaining time today, I would like for us to examine some of the dangerous assumptions that threaten our life as persons, families, and the church. Hopefully, the way of Jesus Christ can straighten us out if we can get it in our thick heads, hearts, and hands.
1. DANGEROUS ASSUMPTIONS AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS. Dangerous assumptions do their damage in our close relations with our spouses, children, and parents. Not long ago, our eleven-year-old Alyce said this to me: "I want to ask you something. And please let me tell you what I want before you say no. That got to me. My cocksureness that I know what my children are going to say before they say it has evidently come out so much in me that even they have picked it up. They have picked it up to the point that I am asked outright to listen to what they are saying because it may be different from what I assume when I see them coming. I realize that the closeness which is a part of parent-child along with husband-wife relationships means that we are often able to anticipate what the other will say. But it is a dangerous assumption to think we don't have to hear them out. Because when a person thinks he knows what I mean without hearing me out, I more than likely don't feel loved and understood, I feel taken for granted. Or another way, love may mean that we know our spouse or child so well that we can anticipate what they are saying before they get it out of their mouths. Yet that person is not going to experience your love and understanding unless you stick around physically and emotionally to check out if you indeed understand. I said emotionally present because ‘uh-huhing' a person while you are reading the paper or watching TV doesn't count.
I ran across a term for this dangerous assumption in our family relationships in a study book on marriage: skin-jumping. Skin-jumping means that I think I can jump inside someone's words and actions and know exactly what they mean without checking it out with them. An example: I come in from work and find my wife quiet and moody. Instantly, I conclude that she must be mad at me. That offends me because I have had a tough day and need some tender loving care. So, I decide to give her back as good as she's giving me. I'll counter attack with my own silent treatment. All the while she is upset with the children or worried about a health problem, not mad at me at all.
The other side of the skin-jumping dangerous assumption of thinking I know what people mean without checking it out is this. Sometimes I expect people to know what I mean, how I feel, or what I need without telling them. They are supposed to jump inside my skin and magically know.
It comes out this way: "If you love me, then you should just know what I need from you now.” Be that need attention, affection, or to be left alone. The corollary of this dangerous assumption of skin jumping is: "If I have to tell you what I need, then what you do doesn't count.” That's baloney. As much as someone loves you and me, they cannot get inside us. Love means trusting someone enough to tell them what we need and their loving us enough to try to meet the need if possible.
After the account of James and John 'skin-jumping' Jesus in Mark, is the story of old blind Bartimaeus sitting on the side of the road yelling his head off for Jesus to help him. In spite of the roar of the crowd Jesus heard him, and when he went over to him, he gave Bartimaeus the courtesy of asking him: "What would you like for me to do for you?" would have been a pretty good guess to assume that he wanted some contact lens or to see or something like that. But Jesus did the amazing thing of asking and hearing him out before answering his request for sight.
2. DANGEROUS ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT THE CHURCH AND CHRISTIAN LIFE.
In our passage, James and John ask to be included in the fun when Jesus becomes king of the world. And when the other ten heard about it, they were angry because they wanted to be in Jesus' inside track also. They were operating with the erroneous assumption that sticking with Jesus would enable them to have fun in the sun and have it made in the shade. Jesus sat them down and clarified that God had sent him not to be the king of the world but the servant of the world. God's royalty, he explained, is not the variety who sleeps til noon, basks on the Riviera, and expect people to kiss their ring. God's royalty wash smelly feet, love beggars, touch untouchable people, and feed babies with bloated bellies. The world has suffered enough from kings and all the other forms of the power elite; what the world needs is some servants. That's what being my right hand men means, Jesus told them!
The modern forms of the disciples' dangerous and erroneous assumptions about what it means to follow Jesus are very much with us. The idea seems to be out if you become a Christian or get born again that you will be successful in business, you'll never fight with your spouse, and your kids won't need braces. With Jesus as your personal buddy, you won't have to be concerned about all those depressing problems people have in the world. We forget that Jesus said that the kind of peace he gives to humans is very different from the world's version of peace. The peace of Jesus Christ is not anesthesia that numbs but a disturbing peace that makes us look ourselves and fellow humans in the eyes.
The church is not true to Christ when it becomes a glorified social club. The church is a rehabilitation center for humans, full of love to be sure, but also full of challenges to do hard work on yourself, others, and the world. It is dangerous to assume that you can come here and be patted on the back and entertained with nothing asked of you. "Stay in the church long enough, and there is a good chance that it will demand your time, your money, your love, maybe even your life. And it will make no apologies for its nagging demands. The church wants not just our platonic and vague 'love' or abstract 'faith'; it wants us to put our money where our hearts are... It wants commitment and response. The church will ask you to feel some of the world's aches and pains along with your own. It will challenge your defeatism and cynicism with talk of Easter and "all things being possible." It will tell you that you are more competent and capable, more responsible for yourself and others than you think you are. The church demands a response from you simply because every time the church opens a Bible, sings a hymn, hears a sermon, baptizes a person, eats the Lord's Supper or a family night potluck supper, the church hears God demanding a response.” (Wm Willimon in The Gospel for the Person Who Has Everything.)
So, if you don't want to be asked to look at what you are doing to yourself and other people with your life, if you don't want to hear that with God's help you can stop your moaning and groaning and do a lot better with your life, if you don't want to be asked to feed hungry people, listen to the problems of some other people besides yourself, or if you don't want to be asked to hug some unhuggable folks, then don't come to church. It is a dangerous assumption to think that we will not be needled and challenged by a church which seeks to be faithful to a God who gave us all and asks all in return.
Dangerous assumptions abound when it comes to the financial support of the church. There is a story of three little boys arguing about whose father had the most money. My dad is a lawyer and he makes $1,000 for just one case. Another retorted: “That’s nothing, my father is a doctor and gets $1,500 for just one operation!" The last little fellow thought a minute: "My dad is a preacher, and when he preaches it takes four men to carry the money out.” Talking about erroneous assumptions...
Among the dangerous assumptions that often pervade in a church is that if money is mentioned it means that the church is not spiritual and only interested in dollars and cents. Yet the church can only translate our desire for missionaries, pastoral care of our sick, Christian education for our people, beautiful music to inspire our living, food and relief for disaster victims with the financial gifts of its people. It is as simple as that.
Our church's ability to make a difference in the lives of people is hampered by another aspect of dangerous assumptions about giving of time and resources. Many conclude that: 'when my salary is larger, when I pay off some bills, when the children move out, when we retire, when this big job project is over, THEN we will really give of our time and money to the church.’ That's a dangerous and damaging assumption! Dangerous and damaging to you and the church. When never comes. It never gets easier. How much of yourself, not just sentimental words that never get into actions, how much of yourself you will give to the concrete, specific, not always exciting day in and day out Christian discipleship of being the church is a present decision you have to make; it is a matter of what your values are right here and right now!
The church and our children suffer from the dangerous assumption that getting our kids here for worship, study, music, and youth groups some of the time is as good as all of the time. We have no trouble getting our children to 35 hours of school a week, some even pay for the privilege. We are most happy to get our kids out of our hair and in front of the TV 20 or 25 hours a week. But it is just so difficult to get them to the church 2 or 3 hours a week. We want our children to learn that people are more important than stuff in life. We want them to tell the truth and keep their promises. We want them to make responsible decisions about their bodies and their sexuality. And we certainly want them to have the resources of Christian faith for facing the hurdles life will inevitably throw up in front of them. And they won't get that at school where value is measured by grades. They won't get that from the religious clubs. They won't get that from TV whose even good shows are surrounded by commercials that promise happiness from a mouthwash or beer bottle. It is a dangerous assumption to think that sporadic exposure to the life of the church will give our children enough of the resources of Christian faith needed for a world like this one.
I could go on with dangerous assumptions that hamper our living with each other and as Christ's church. I know, however, that it is a dangerous assumption to think people will listen to a sermon much longer than 20 minutes.
In closing, I realize there has been a lot of "demands" in this sermon. It isn't easy to bring off parent-child, husband-wife, and other intimate relationships. Listening and avoiding skin-jumping takes energy. Being God's church is no picnic. While it may take away some of our problems, it will ask you to take on some more. But there is a payoff for trying to be Christ's servant instead of king of the world; you find it a little more comfortable to live in your own skin; it's a little easier to face yourself in the mirror on the wall and in the mirror of another's eyes; some of the guilt rocks begin to fall off our back. Some think it's worth the effort to overcome these dangerous assumptions. What about you?