Wilderness Living
“And the whole congregation of the people of Israel murmured against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness...”
“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.... Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and ministered to him.”
September 14, 1980
Our subject today is wildernesses: frightening, danger-infested wildernesses. Israelites trucked around in the Sinai wilderness for 40 years on their way from Egyptian slavery to the Promised Land of Canaan. Why it took them so long to make what, at tops, should have taken a few months is a long story. The point here is that it was a long, tough haul for them between where they had been and where they were going. While they were betwixt and between, they had to make some decisions about themselves, their lives, and their God. And the Exodus passage is quite honest about them. In the polite language of the Revised Standard Version, they "murmured" to their leaders Moses and his brother Aaron. They were afraid. They had second thoughts about Egypt; being a fat slave might be better than a hungry free person. So, they murmured, or to be quite blunt about it: they n-yah, h-yahed; they gripped, bellyached, and felt sorry for themselves. Yet the Exodus account makes it clear that the way they handled themselves in the wilderness had much to do with what life in the Promised Land would be like, or if it would be at all.
Even Jesus, Matthew (as well as Mark and Luke) relates, spent some time toughing it out in the wilderness. Indeed, it was a scary time where Jesus had to pan out what kind of Messiah,
what kind of God's man, he would be. He was tempted to use his powers to do tricks like turning stones into bread to "ooh" and "awe" people. He had to decide whether he wanted to be a sword swinging military-king of the world. Whatever we make of it, he there had a fight for his life on more than one level. It left him drained and worn out yet with his identity and values intact. Jesus rejected being a stuntman, and he rejected militarism. He chose the perilous identity of servant. And God's messengers, translated “angels” in English, came and eased his wounds. Thus after facing the wilderness and the devil, he is ready to face the hell and hate humans would dish out to him and each other.
Wilderness living was something Jesus and the Israelites had to master. It is clear that their wildernesses went a lot deeper than geography. They were wildernesses of life issues and crises where they had to decide how they could live with themselves, each other, and most of all, with God. Each of us sooner or later winds up in our own personal wilderness where we are faced with the sink or swim dilemmas of Betwixt and Between Land.
Perhaps, it would help for us to do a quick wilderness list:
There are marital and parental wildernesses when relations between loved ones are out of whack and strained, and we fear not making it together. The promised land on the other side of the wilderness is a deeper, more satisfying relationship because of having worked through the wilderness together. But there are no guarantees and so it is scary.
The graying, balding wilderness of getting older often gets us down. The last time I went for a haircut, my barber with a straight face said: "Pay me two dollars less today. I feel guilty charging you for a full haircut when I don't have anything to do on the top any more.” There are stages and passages throughout adulthood when we just don't feel right about things and have to decide what to do with our relationships, careers, and life priorities.
I was almost 28 when I finally finished graduate school and seminary. For the first years of our marriage, we were like the Israelites who spent 40 years in the wilderness. Living betwixt and between was a way of life to be lived, life could not be postponed to some later date. Thus, many of us have to learn to live in extended wildernesses of school, military service, training, and the like.
Illnesses become wildernesses for us at times. The actual illness may be the least of it. The hard part may be learning to live in the limitations of its aftermath or with the anxiety of wondering when and if it will recur.
The grief and loss we feel at the death or other unwanted, separation from a loved one is a scary wilderness in which we have to live wondering if there will ever be any promised land.
Obviously, we could go on and on with personal wildernesses. There is just one final personal wilderness I'd like to acknowledge. Some might call it depression. But I call it living in the "Funks". It can be deep or mild, but it is enough to put a gray downer haze over all we do. It makes you feel like a 33-1/3rd record in a 45 rpm world. Or like the guy who said he felt like going out into the backyard and eating dirt and kicking bricks. It happens to me at times when the most exciting thing I can think of doing is cleaning out my car trunk or rearranging my underwear drawer. We may be able to tie it to a problem, a failure, or a disappointment. And if you can, consider yourself lucky. The terror of the funks most of the time is that we are not sure why we feel so down.
Beyond our personal wildernesses, there are many social and international deserts today. Our earth seems like a wilderness with diminishing resources and scarcities. We tend to look out for number one and rationalize why we should let others fend for themselves. We are suspicious of others and they of us. We demonize the Russians and they villainize us.
We rattle our nuclear sabers at each other, live on the brink of blowing each other into radioactive smithereens, and like proud, blustering children cannot admit that we are all simply afraid of not making it. In our wilderness panic, like the Israelites complaining to their leaders Moses and Aaron, we try to blame this or that leader for problems that were not his making. We demand that our leaders promise to solve all our problems without making us give up anything. And when they do some things but not all, and we have to pay a bit, we are ready to run them out on a rail. And then we turn to another leader to chew up with unrealistic expectations, postponing the truth as long as we can: we are going to have to change our gluttonous, selfish lifestyles.
In the last half of my sermon, I would like to deal with some notions about wilderness living. They deal mainly with personal wildernesses. Hopefully, as we, with God and one another's help, learn to live creatively with our personal wildernesses, we will have more energy and motivation to do something about the wilderness of others in our society and world.
I. There is a good news and bad news story about a man who feared that he was paranoid because he felt no one liked him and everyone was out to get him. He went to a therapist for several sessions explaining his problem. Finally, the doctor said: "I have some good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you are not paranoid and I see no evidence of psychosis in you. The bad news is that you are just the kind of person that people really don't like.”
What I am getting at sounds like a ridiculous understatement, but it must be said: human wildernesses are for real. For the great majority of the time they aren't our imagination. Problems that I mentioned and others like them are real. They don't magically go away when we get a positive attitude, read the latest pop psychology book, or get into the latest religious fad movement. Being a Christian doesn't magically insulate us from life troubles. Being a Christian, thank God, gives us strength and resources for our problems, but it does not make them disappear.
Robert Frost wrote a poem in 1914 entitled "A Servant to Servants" in which he wrote the line: "The best way out is always through... And that is my first point about wilderness living: THE BEST WAY OUT OF THE WILDERNESS, REALLY THE ONLY WAY OUT, IS THROUGH IT.
I am not advising that we go masochistically looking for pain and problems. That's sick. But what I am saying is that the wilderness of problems that will find you sooner or later may not be all enemy. It may be that the tough times of life really teach us better about ourselves than the easy times. Those scary times help us cut through the junk of our lives and see what really matters. When it is sink or swim time, then I have to decide what matters and what I must throw overboard to stay afloat like: a breakneck schedule, or a family-life sapping job, or a selfish moodiness that pushes loved ones away, or a mania for more stuff that is never satisfied, and on it goes. Personally, I have never known how much I love certain people and how much they loved me until the wilderness times we have gone through together.
Like Israel and Jesus found out, going through the wilderness may be the creative time in which we decide what the rest of our life, or at least the next chapter, will be like. Furthermore, the promised lands with our lives, marriages, jobs, and even with our God don't quite mean as much without our times in the wilderness together.
II. Our two-year-old, Andrew, proves over and over again that famous old saying: “You can lead the baby to the highchair, but you can't make him eat." About the only things he will eat without a fight are Dorito chips, grilled cheese sandwiches, and chocolate milk. Despite ketchup anointed vegetables, we just have a tough time getting him to swallow green stuff. We can promise going bye-bye, Bailey and Alyce can applaud mightily each morsel he admits to the sanctuary of his mouth, and I can threaten all sorts of child brutality in spite of Dianne's attempts to calm me down. But, only Andrew can ultimately decide whether to swallow and benefit from the green beans. Love, force, bribes, and tricks cannot do for him what he must do for himself.
Thus, a second point for wilderness living. IN COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR FEARS, YOUR "FUNKS", AND OTHER VARIOUS AND SUNDRY PROBLEMS, THERE ARE SOME THINGS WHICH NO ONE CAN DO FOR YOU, SOME THINGS YOU MUST DO FOR YOURSELF. As much as God and others love you, you must take responsibility for your own life. No one can get you out of the wilderness "funks" until you decide to get out and let them help you. Sure, you may have gotten some raw deals, but you still must go with what you've got.
Others may be somewhat to blame for your predicament. But it is your responsibility, and yours alone, to get you through it! Pouting, sulking, and attention getting antics must go. If God and others are to help you deal with your life, then you must roll up your sleeves and dig back in. Even the Israelites had to try more than one entry attempt before they actually got into the Promised Land of Canaan.
Do you remember the Wizard of Oz story? The cowardly lion wanted courage, the tin man wanted a heart so he could feel things like love, and the scarecrow wanted a brain so he could think. And Dorothy wanted to go home. Convinced that the wizard could give them what they wanted and what they believed they didn't have themselves, they endured the dangerous trip down the yellow brick road. They found the Wizard alright. And although he was far from what they expected, he pointed out to the lion that he was already acting bravely in his protection of Dorothy, that the tin man was already showing heart feelings of love, and the scarecrow had done a lot of thinking on the way. Even Dorothy finally had to jump and click her own heels to get home. In spite of almost being televisioned out on us, it is a beautiful story with a truth in it: the journey through the wilderness of our life problems must always always be the yellow brick road that leads within before it leads us out.
Some Pharisees asked Jesus when God's kingdom would come and God would straighten out the world and their lives. Jesus answered: "The kingdom of God does not come in such a way as to be seen. No one will say, 'Look, here it is!'; because the kingdom of God is within you."
This is not works righteousness nor is it a claim that we are God. Far from it. It is simply the New Testament proclamation that God has put his stuff inside each of us, he has put his divine spark in each human. We can ignore it or we can become excited that he does empower us to know a lot more about what we need than we like to admit and that we have more strength given to us by him than we are often willing to use. God has more confidence in you and me than you and I usually have!
III. There is an old story about a man who dreamed he went to hell. He found himself in a large cave filled with all sorts of delicious-looking foods. Strangely, the many people there were crying and starving. Their problem was that they had giant arm length spoons strapped to their arms. Bound so, they could not bend their arms to feed themselves. Shocked, in his dream, the man asked to be shown heaven. Surprisingly, the scene was the same cave filled with luscious food. This time the people were well fed and laughing. The difference was that they were feeding each other.
It is true that we can survive our life wildernesses only if we take responsibility for ourselves and realize that there are some things no one can do for us. But, it is also true, and this is the last point, WE CANNOT DEAL WITH OUR LIFE PROBLEMS ALONE EITHER. Some commentators have conjectured that the mana food that sustained the Israelites in the wilderness was a white, edible fluid secreted by certain desert insects. My response is, who knows? The book of Exodus makes it clear that the Israelites could have never made it without the help God sent in one way or another. Matthew tells us that Jesus was comforted by angels or God messengers. Just who these messengers were, again, who knows? The point remains. As much as the Israelites and Jesus had to do for themselves and decide for themselves, they were able to make it because of help from beyond themselves as much as from the help that God mustered up within them. It is one of life's paradoxes: no one can solve your problems for you but you can't do it alone either.
As a pastor who spent a lot of life time, money, and hours learning to do counseling, it often bewilders me that people let their false pride keep them from seeking help from professional persons or even trusted friends when their personal, marital, or faith problems continue to drain them. All of us need, at some point, some of those mysterious messengers that even Jesus needed. Hopefully, you will decide that your life, your marriage, or happiness is more important than your false pride.
I haven't seen many angels of the wings, halo, and harp variety. But I have encountered a number of them in suits, dresses, and blue jeans. Some were young and some were old. They have cared enough to stick around and listen to me when I am sure they would have liked to be somewhere else more pleasant. They have not come on with a plastic smile that is so stifling. And they haven't come on with tidbits of wisdom. They usually haven't said much more than: "I don't know quite what to say, but I will listen, and I will stick around for the duration of your need.” You and I need angels like them. And there are people who need you to be that kind of angel.
The way out is working through the pain of our wildernesses. The way is through the muck and mess, not around, over, or under them. Don't sell the wizard of you short. God has made you able to do things for yourself that no one else can do for you. Yet God has knotted us humans together in such a way that we can't do it alone either. And as we emerge from our personal air-conditioned wildernesses, then perhaps we will be ready to really get down to the business of changing the hunger- and war-threat wilderness of this world into the green garden that God meant and means for it to be!