Putting up with God’s Love: Have you ever started singing a song you didn’t know you knew? Somehow, ‘Love Changes Everything’ started playing in my head.

       Love. Love changes everything…how you live and how you die…

         Yes, love changes everything…love will never let you be the same.

I don’t repeat sermons but stories. Like reference to Vanderbilt Professor Peggy Way’s lectures on theological, philosophical, psychological, and sociological theories of human love. She summed up with a smile: Love is putting up with each other. And I have added, when we don’t feel like it or deserve it. Recall times in your life being loved when you were un-put-up-withable. Or by some mystery of grace even you and I have been able to love others in their exquisite un-put-up-withable-ness. Usually happens in families.

In John 15, Jesus takes love beyond 2nd commandment loving others as we love our-selves. Most of our self-focused fretting is because we aren’t so hot at loving ourselves. Because of God’s unconditional love for us, Jesus enables us to love one another as he loves us. There’s a world changing difference: love one another as Jesus loves us. So, showing unconditional love from God for each other is really a lot of love to put up with.

Unconditional Love in a Conditional World: NYT Journalist David Brooks wrote a piece recently, LOVE AND MERIT. Brooks describes the paradox of how children today are lavished with praise and applause, yet how almost unconsciously parents’ love is “manipulative,” their drive so great for their children’s success, they “shape their smiles and frowns to steer their children toward behavior they think will lead to achievement. Such love is merit based. Not I love you no matter what but if…”

The mystery is that we are better at our lives when loved unconditionally than when we feel there are all sorts of fish hook conditions. Feeling I am only loved when I meet your requirements finally makes me resentful. Loved unconditionally actually positively motivates us to do more not less to be our best selves. Fuss at me and you will get minimal compliance. Encourage, assure me of your love and I will go 2nd, 3rd, 17th miles.

Left handed love in a right handed world: Early on, I realized I was different from my cousins and buddies. I didn’t see anyone quite like me. I heard my parents and grandparents whispering how a distant uncle was that way. When I started to school, it came out. By the luck of the alphabet, Morgan and Mount, I was seated by Johnny who was like me. Our teacher, Mrs. Orr would come over and whisper “Billy (I never liked being called Billy), Johnny, why don’t your try holding your pencil, your crayon in your right hand, like all the other boys and girls?”

About one of ten are born left handed in a persistent right handed world. Right and left in Latin – dextra and sinistra – sinister. At times in history, there was a moral judgment of sinister handed people. But it’s not right or wrong, not good or bad, just the way we are. It’s challenging in a right handed world. Those right armed desks in school, learning to write without smearing ink or lead on our hand. Scissors? Don’t even go there.

Best we know, we are all made from God’s love, to love and be loved by one another. Though loving each other is always hard to sustain. Estimate, about 95% of us show physical love one way. About 5% of us show physical love the other way. Let’s call it right handed and left handed love.

What is God’s will for how people show physical love?  How do we find the timeless Word of God in the many time bound words and situations in the Bible?  Not surface literalism but deep Biblical truth. There are a lot of words in the Bible that seem to condone slavery, racial prejudice, male domination of women. Over time, in scripture, we have determined how the timeless unconditional love of God moves us beyond former limitations. Paul who had such a hard time with bigotry finally exults, ‘There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female; we are all one in Jesus Christ.’ (Galatians 3. 28)

In my growing up, the big issue was people of different color. For now, the big issue is over people who show left hand physical love in a right hand world. My belief is the God of Jesus teaches us that physical love is meant for deep, committed, faithful, permanent, exclusive relationships. Relationship is primary; gender secondary.  Physical love, right hand or left hand version, outside of such committed relationships degrades God’s gift. Physical love is for whole life physical-emotional-spiritual commitment. This may seem radical for those who can only accept right hand expression of physical love. Actually, this is very conservative: God’s gift of physical love is made for committed relationships.

This is where 60+ years with life and the Bible have brought me. I don’t have an axe to grind. But I want you to know where my head and heart are. It’s not easy to love and be loved in this world. God help us not make it even harder for people to love one another.

Love. Love changes everything… How we live and how we die…