Mary and the Motherhood of God
“His mother treasured all these things in her heart.”
Renowned African American artist Henry Ossawa Tanner depicted Mary teaching boy Jesus to read scripture. Recently, I came across the questions, 'Did Mary have to potty train Jesus? Did Mary and Joseph ever have to put Jesus in time-out, or administer a corrective bottom whack?'
Today's lectionary Gospel is Luke 2.41-52. Since Christmas Eve's (1-20) lectionary account of baby Jesus's unusual layette and Christmas Day's eloquent 'the Word became flesh and lived among us' (John 1.1-14), things have happened.
The manger, shepherd story leaves mystified Mary pondering things in her heart. Next, in Luke 2.25-35, the improbable parents take their baby to the Temple for prescribed dedication. The old codger prophet Simeon says to Mary these thrilling, chilling words: 'This child is destined for the rising and falling of many...a sword will pierce your heart also.' Wow, even more for her to ponder in her heart.
For the first of two times, we are told the child grew and developed well mentally, physically, and spiritually in relation to God and people. Even when you are the special child from God, you have a lot to learn growing up.
Time travel from Jesus' first week to his 12th year for today's passage. The family, amid their village entourage, travels to Jerusalem for the High Holy Days. You remember. Jesus hangs back in the Temple, fascinating, even teaching, the teachers. On the road home to Nazareth, Joseph and Mary discover Jesus is not in the village pack as they thought. Lost child panic process kicks in.
Panic, desperate prayers and unbounded promises, child found, momentary joyful hugs, then the 'why did you put us through this?' anger. Such happens in holy and not so holy families. Mary, emphasizing the one foot in childhood of her 12 year old, tries a maternal guilt trip for the 'anxiety' Jesus put his parents through. Jesus emphasizing the adulthood side of a 12 year old, pretty much uses the adolescent anthem 'you don't understand me'. What's more, I never tried this, 'it's a God thing.'
Well, indeed, for the second time, we hear Mary treasured these things in her heart. What a mix of blessing and bewilderment! Over time her heart is thrilled, and killed, over what happens. A one point (Mark 3) Mary and the family try to retrieve Jesus home because people think he has lost it. Another time, (John 2), the proud mother and resistant son get in a bit of a battle of wills over her injunction to turn some water into wine. And perhaps capping it all, there is the tender scene from nail impaled Jesus to his disciple/friend John beside Mary. 'Be the son to her I could not be; be the mother to him that you could not be to me.'
Some musings about mothers and God from a non-mother....
1. I have spoken of the complicated relationship with my mother because of her bipolar roller coaster that showed up intermittently. At times, she was not able to be the best of moms, but there was never ever a time that her love was not complete and unconditional. Though consistent meals on the table, and such, were hard for her on occasions, she was never so sad or manic that she would not have given her life without hesitation for her children. BTW: I was not always the best of sons.
2. As a young associate pastor at Huntsville 1st, early one Sunday, I was walking through that beautiful sanctuary. Two silver vases with rose buds were on the altar. A woman I had not seen spoke from behind me. "Bill, there are several women like me in the church who can't have children. We understand how meaningful it is to announce newborns with the rose buds. But in your ministry, never forget what the rose buds mean to some of us."
Perhaps not all, but many women long to have a child that they may or may not be able to have. Whether that's genetically or culturally encoded, I don't know. But I do know that the supreme human capacity to nurture/parent another life, especially an older one for a younger one, is not limited to or guaranteed by obstetrics. How profoundly blessed and guided all of our lives are by teachers (church and school), coaches, aunts and uncles, mentors galore who have parented us, though they may not have biological children.
(In your spare time, refresh yourself on Erik Erikson's depiction of the meaning of 'generativity' for any life worth living or dying for.)
3. Finally, in Henri Nouwen's REACHING OUT, he spoke of children as our gifts and guests from God to care for and guide. Their job is not to make us happy or not embarrass us. And, our job is not to make them happy, though perhaps do our best not to embarrass them! There are places and points when for the love of them, we hold them close. And there are places for the love of them we let them go. Such is what Mary treasured and pondered in her heart, and did with her life. That mirrors something of the great parenthood, generativity of God.
Mary and the motherhood of us all...shows us God's healing and guiding love comes to and through all of us broken people