Dads: Earthly & Heavenly
“While his son was far off, the father saw him, was filled with compassion, ran put his arms around him and kissed him.”
The God we know through Jesus is both like and unlike earthly parents. Like in the way earthly, imperfect parents approximate the divine un-give-up-able love. Unlike in the way earthly parents often fall short. Yet with our fallible parents, we can exquisitely experience the un-stop-able love of God operating through them.
In FIRST DADS: PARENTING AND POLITICS FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO BARACK OBAMA, Joshua Kendall explores connections between how presidents ‘papa’ and govern. He suggests five types of First Dad parenting styles.
PREOCCUPIED: Most prevalent are presidents who are consumed with their awesome responsibilities. Though they care, they are often disconnected. Kendall puts FDR, LBJ, Carter, Nixon, and Reagan in this group.
PLAYFUL: Grant, Theodore Roosevelt, and George W. Bush are among the POTUS’s who could unwind with their kids, sometimes had a hard time saying no to their whims and wishes.
DOUBLE-DEALING DADS: Varying qualities of relationships with their official offspring, several presidents had affairs, some illegitimate children. Among them: Jefferson, Tyler, Cleveland, Harding, Kennedy, and Clinton.
TIGER DADS: Some presidential pops showed their love by being demanding, at times hyper-critical: John Adams with his president son John Quincy Adams and him with his son. Also, most notable, Eisenhower.
GRIEF STRICKEN: We sort of expect loss of parents, spouse and siblings, but none bargain for the loss of a child. Several presidents lived and led conditioned by their grief for a lost child. Lincoln, McKinley, Coolidge, and George H. W. Bush.
NURTURERS: In between laissez-faire and authoritarian dads, Kendall places intentional fathers. They work to be involved but not overbearing in their children’s lives. Among these: Washington, Rutherford Hayes (when’s the last time you thought about ole Rutherford?), Truman, and Obama (he suppers with his family five nights a week). Certainly, none of these categories fully contain the impact of the double-challenge of dad-hood and president-hood.
My last earthly conversation with my dad was when he was 48; I, 24. No day has passed without thinking of him, often with forehead whack, ‘oh, now I get it’ moments. We did get to enjoy several wonderful years of adult friendship. I was blessed by granddad Pawpaw and Uncle Bob(by) who were magnificent stand-in dads.
I learned and Communion-of-Saints continue to learn from my dad...
+ Money is seldom in surplus. My dad was a hard worker and master money stretcher. Taught me to pay bills on time and fiercely guard good credit.
+ My dad’s great dexterity with tools leapfrogged over me and landed on our oldest son. Both: happy campers in their tool-full hobby shop garages.
+ In sales all his life, my dad was quite a conversationalist, story teller, and funny. He emphasized that ‘sales’ were based on honest relationships and a good product. There is a connection with being a minister, don’t you think?
+ My parents had a crazy love: a crazy in love, drive each other crazy, relationship. In its own way it was a testimony that real love is always a both/and ‘because of’ and ‘in spite of’ deal.
Maybe the likeness and unlike-ness of divine and human love merge after all. For God so loved the world…because of…and in spite of…indeed.