What Do People Think of Us?
“Woe to you when all speak well of you...”
During the early 1960's, 30-ish David Cornwell served a brief stint as a British agent stationed in Cold War West Germany. Better known by his pen-name John Le Carre, his spy novels like "The Spy Who Came in from the Cold", "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy", "The Constant Gardener" and a host of others are the stuff of absorbing plots and intriguing movies.
Le Carre's new memoir "The Pigeon Tunnel" is both informative and entertaining. He mentions Graham Greene (pictured) who also did his bit spying. But who too gained fame with his spy novels, some of which were made into movies: "The Quiet American", "The End of the Affair", "The Power and the Glory" and more.
Le Carre tells how driven and fearful Greene was the last decades of his life. Because of his leftward politics, even oddly coupled with his Catholic faith, Greene was convinced the FBI was after him. He insisted on meeting with his American publishers in Canada to avoid any unnecessary travel in the U.S.
At long last, Greene got access to his FBI file, almost cringing to see all that had been listed, alleged, hanging over his head so long. In fact, there was only one entry, a minor reference to him. (p.23)
My sense is that most of us along the way have said something to the effect: "I don't give a hoot (fill in your own blank) what other people think!" But in true transparency, perhaps not with everyone, but with those we deem crucial to us, we do care what people think of, say about us. Even when as Lady MacBeth, we may 'protest too much' we don't.
There is a range for this. Wanting to be liked, loved, accepted, respected...at least not laughed at, made fun of. (There is a shadowy path I will not pursue today of caring about, ingratiating oneself to, those who can advance us. That is a matter of calculating minds.) Today I am referring to the longing of our hearts.
Two simple truths. One, no one can live our lives for us. But none of us can make it without the care of others. Two, thought not original to him, I first heard from my dad, you can always find someone doing better and worse than you. The only comparison that matters is the gains and losses with my own competence and integrity.
There is a wonderful dance in God's gift of life to us between caring what others make of us...and being persistently, consistently ourselves. Truth is, the main thing most people think of us is...not often.
Thank God for those who really care about us. Even more, thank God for our worth that comes with the gift of birth, a worth the world can't give or take away from us.
Here's a strange proposal. As hard as it will surely be for me, perhaps for you... What about a day we proactively focus first on how we encourage the people we encounter...instead of how they boost us?
The odd, counter-intuitive truth we know via Jesus makes a big difference between CARING WHAT other people think of us and CARING FOR nutty, wonderful other people. Easy to say, but hard to believe and live...joy is not a direct result of self-promotion but a by-product of self-giving.
Notice: You won't find any of this in your FBI report.